Seniors and over 50 singles: How to approach being intimate on the first date

If you are over 50 and have just met someone through online dating who wants to go on a date night with you for the first time, when and how to initiate intimacy might be on your mind. Of course, when it comes to the first kiss or sex, you should do what is most natural for you! 

As long as your partner is comfortable with kissing on the first date, or even sex, then you can go ahead with whatever feels best for you. However, we want to first look at what dating is like as a senior today when you use an online service. 

In this article, we’ll look at the stages of dating, why the first intimate moments are important, pros and cons of sex on the first date, some golden rules for dating as an elder, and more. Read on to learn more!

illustration of mature couples of different sexualities

New stages of dating: What’s different from when you were younger?

As seniors who are using dating sites to find love, many of you are in an age group that is sometimes unfamiliar with the nuances of a dating scene from your youth. Men and women over 50 can expect a world of difference as they approach relationships now. 

Let’s consider the stages of dating, especially when using something like a dating app: 

The existence of dating apps and online dating sites

This is first and foremost the most different thing about how people date now contrary to when you were younger. Such platforms for meeting other singles were unheard of. 

That means that the speed at which you meet new people is also greater, and you can browse through and meet potential matches frequently with just the touch of a button. On top of your own dating profile, it’s as easy as just glancing at someone else’s to get to know them a little!

Experience and what you’ve gained

As someone who is older, you have much more experience now not only with dating, but also with yourself. That means that you should hopefully have a clearer impression of what you want out of a relationship, and what your goals are. 

Additionally, your partner should also be in a similar situation. This means less time spent wondering what it is you two want and where your relationship could go. For this reason, it can also feel like a relationship moves faster than it used to. 

Of course, this can also mean that you or your date have some personal baggage that you may be dealing with. It can lead to some complications as you date, but these will have to be dealt with naturally and openly if you want to overcome this. 

Taste, activities, and freedom

Of course, people change as they grow older. As they do their taste in certain activities shifts, and what they may have once found to be exciting no longer interests them. Additionally, you may not be as fit as you were, and so what you did as an activity in your youth is a no go. 

On the other hand, you also have more disposable income and time on your hands. Depending on whether you are close to retirement or already there, you might be able to enjoy going out and doing things whenever you want! This of course gives you more freedom and flexibility. 

Wonder how likely it is to find true love when you’re older? Check out this article to find out about the chances of finding love in your fifties and older.

The Meaning of the first kiss

Daters with a new partner may be eager to kiss on the first date, and if that is fine with your date then go for it. However, it would be helpful to remember that a first kiss in a relationship is so important because it sets the pace and the tone for the rest of the relationship, if not the date.

For example, if your partner wasn’t a good kisser, you may feel like the rest of the date is going to go south before you even get to know them. You could lose out on a deep connection just because one kiss wasn’t all that great. 

illustration of older man and woman about to kiss

Additionally, the kind of body language you use and the context in which you kiss the person, such as the situation and how romantic it is, can either leave a feeling of attraction in your partner, or one of being put off. 

Knowing when to first try to kiss your partner relies on a bit of your own intuition and ability to read the mood. If you feel like you are both ready and comfortable to do it, then go for it! 

Pros & Cons of Sex on the first date

Kissing aside, if you are keen on going all the way with your date when you first meet up, then you should know some of the pros and cons for doing so. This is especially the case if you haven’t been dating much lately: 

Pros

  • If you both know what you want and are comfortable with it, why not? 
  • A date sometimes just naturally leads to something like this, and expressing your excitement for one another can really encourage a long-term relationship
  • With senior dating, women make the first move more often, so there’s less beating around the bush

Cons

  • If you’re more familiar with a long-term partner, you may find yourself floundering at times
  • If sex goes poorly, you can expect to not have a second date
  • It may give off the wrong impression to your partner if you are seriously intending to take things seriously

What are the rules of dating over 50?

For seniors, the dating world can sometimes feel a little overwhelming. Fortunately for you, dating experts are familiar with some of the ground rules that can help to make your dating experience better. 

illustration of two singles on a date

One rule that relationship experts suggest is taking the time to be certain of what you want, even before you sign up for a dating service. Once you are firm in knowing what you want, you can better find matches with people who fit your tastes.

Additionally, as a senior you should really focus on doing what interests you in a relationship. Focus on your own needs and wants before considering whether you want to compromise with a potential date.

Finally, take things slow and at a pace that is comfortable for you. When you have a match that feels good, you can progress the relationship as quickly or as slowly as is good for the both of you. 

How to flirt over 50

If you are past your midlife and well into your senior years, you might feel like some dating tips can help you out, especially with flirting. When it comes to flirting though, you can definitely rely on the experience you have from past relationships, as flirting is much the same. 

Compliment them and pay attention to what they have to say. Make physical contact in an appropriate way that indicates you are interested: touch their hand or shoulder, make eye contact, and ask a lot of questions about them. 

How do I know the right timing?

If you need dating advice on when to know that the time is right to kiss a potential partner, our first recommendation is that you pay attention to your date. How are they feeling? Do they seem receptive to being close to you? Is the date going well?

If you can say that you feel as if the date is going well and your partner is enjoying themselves, and the moment is the level of romance you would like, you can try for a kiss. We suggest going in about 90% of the way for a kiss, and let your date go in for the remaining 10%. 

Who knows, your potential partner may just take the invitation and turn it into a serious relationship. 

Where to find love and meet singles over 50

Depending on the type of relationship you are looking for, there are better services than others. For example, as a senior, if you want a serious and lasting relationship, Ourtime is an excellent dating platform to use. 

However, if you are looking for something more casual and potentially without any expectations of anything serious, you may find yourself having luck with a dating app like Tinder. 

Regardless, make sure that you approach the first kiss and your first moment of intimacy calmly and in a way that is comfortable for the both of you.

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